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|An enterprising mayor of the city of
Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo
that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise
to many unusual events.
Last September one of the star
attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape,
escaped to the dismay of the zoo
director. The matter was a serious one
because the members of the
staff of the zoo, while expert at caring for
animals, had no
experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing
director appealed to the office of the mayor for help and the
secretary to the mayor asked, "Have you looked in the yellow pages"?
director said he hadn't, but would, immediately.
surprise, under "animal capturing service" he found a listing
Acme Ape Apprehenders. He called them immediately.
minutes, a panel truck arrived at the admin office of the zoo
a small man emerged and rushed to the director who was waiting at
"Is there a wooded area in the vicinity?", the
little man asked. The
director said there was, within one half mile from
the zoo. "Hop in
the truck", the little man said. The director did
and they drove off.
Minutes later they arrived at a small grove
and immediately spotted
Arnold on a branch about 25 feet above the
The two men got out, went to the back of the truck and
the little man
opened the door. An excited little dog jumped out
and began running
around in circles.
The little man reached
into the truck and took out a suitcase, which he
opened. In the
suitcase were a pair of handcuffs, which he handed to
the zoo director,
a sawed off shotgun, which he leaned against the trunk
of the tree,
and a baseball bat.
"Now," the little man said, "I'm going up
into the tree with the
baseball bat, and I'm going to knoc
k the ape out of the tree. The
instant the ape hits the ground the
dog, well trained, will bite the ape by
the crotch and chomp-down
with his jaws. The ape will, instantly and
instinctively, grab at
his crotch with both hands due to the pain, and you
handcuffs on and we've got him.
The zoo director, pointing to the
shotgun leaning against the tree,
said "I'm not too sure about this --
what's the gun for?"
The little man said, "Look, I'm an
expert. I know what I'm doing and
things will go just fine, after all,
I have the baseball bat. I know my
job and it'll never happen but
if the ape should, by any chance, knock
ME out of the tree, SHOOT
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